As Nothing
by My Dear Professor McGonagall
Summary: "And Remus felt a sudden rush of affection for Harry, who had lost so much, who had every right to act as selfishly as he chose, had forced Remus to see that the desires of one person are as nothing to the desires of those who depend on that person."
1. Chapter 1

4 April 1998

Remus sat up straighter at the table as the kitchen door swung open and Dora appeared, almost balancing a tea tray on her huge belly and looking very morose. Her sweet, usually happy face was pale, and Remus thought he could see a few tear tracks on her cheeks.

"She won't eat," Dora said in a broken voice, not looking at him as she set the tea service on the counter. "It's been more than a week, and she just—she won't say anything. She's just lying there, I can't get her to even move—"

Remus leapt to his feet and came up behind Dora, putting his arms around her. As he kissed her neck, he felt hot tears sting his eyes. Dora drew a shuddering breath, trying to collect herself. She put her hands over his and pulled them onto her belly. For a few moments, Remus just closed his eyes and timed his breathing with hers, feeling the baby move beneath his fingers.

"We'll try again later," he murmured in her ear, and Dora nodded. "She's going to be all right, I know she is. Andromeda's tough."

"Right," Dora said, nodding and wiping her tears away. She turned around, resting her back against the counter and trying to smile for him. Remus looked down at her enormous belly between them, and laid his hands on it again.

"Remus?"

He looked up.

"If it's a boy…can we—can we call him—?" Dora began, her chin trembling as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Of course we can," Remus answered, as pain for her filled his chest. "Of _course_. Ted is a wonderful name."

With a great sob, Dora threw her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. Remus held her tight, pressing a kiss into her hair, running his hands over her back in soothing circles. After several minutes, Dora pulled away.

"My back," she said with a small laugh, reaching behind to massage the painful spot. "Sorry," she said with another watery chuckle, wiping her tears away.

Remus smiled, tucking a stray strand of her light brown hair behind her ear; Metamorphosing was hard on her while she was this pregnant, and as a result, her hair had been its natural brown—at least, the same brown as Andromeda's—for almost a month.

"Do you want to go out in the garden?" Remus asked, and Dora nodded. Remus took her hand and kissed it, then led her out the kitchen door.

Down the two steps, there was a tiny path that led to the white fence. It branched off here and there, with one path leading to a small patio, another to a gardening shed, another to the herb garden, and so on. The garden was lit with a beautiful golden light as the early spring day ended. The snows had just finished melting, and Dora had been working on bringing the garden back to life a little at a time.

"I got the roses planted," she said, gesturing with her free hand to the fence. Remus smiled.

"Those are going to be beautiful in another few months," he said. "When it starts getting hotter."

"In time for our anniversary," Dora answered, smiling.

"Let's go sit under the tree," Remus suggested, and Dora followed him across the lawn, full of new, light green grass to the shady spot near the fence. The enormous walnut tree that grew in the Tonks family's yard had been there for longer than Andromeda and Ted had owned the house.

Its topmost branches just leveled the roof of the house, right beside Dora's room—one of the first stories about her childhood that Remus could remember hearing was the night that Ted and Andromeda caught Dora sneaking back into her window in the wee hours of the morning, only to learn that she had actually been sneaking _out_, dropped her wand, and had been stuck for several hours.

The tree had a great web of knotty roots around it, and it was between two of these that Remus settled himself, and held up both hands for Dora.

"Oh, Merlin," she muttered. "I didn't think this one through—er—here, like this—" She put her right hand into Remus's left, and leaning on him, managed to crouch down enough and turn to sit between his knees with a bump.

"Dora!" Remus exclaimed, as she burst out laughing. "Are you all—"

"I'm fine," Dora promised, still laughing and rubbing her belly. "I didn't fall, that's just how I sit now," she told him with a chuckle, squeezing his hand. Awkwardly, she scooted back to lean against his chest as Remus pulled his knees up. A cool breeze rippled through the hedges, and Dora sighed, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms over her belly.

Remus kissed the top of her head, and put his arms over hers, interlocking their fingers.

"Have you heard from Bill?" Dora murmured after a few minutes' silence, her head cradled against his neck. Her eyes were closed, and Remus gazed down at her, as if hypnotized, examining each wet eyelash, each barely-there smile line around her mouth and eyes. "How are they doing?"

"He says things are crowded, but that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all right. So are Dean and Luna," Remus told her in. "They should be taking Ollivander to stay with the Weasleys tonight. That was the plan, last I heard."

"Mm," Dora said, nuzzling her forehead against his neck and smiling a little sadly. Remus kissed her head again and sighed heavily. "Remus?" she asked after several minutes' silence.

"What?"

"Have you thought about a godfather for this one?" Dora asked, patting her belly.

"Oh—I…I hadn't, actually," Remus admitted, frowning. "I suppose that—that makes sense."

The war seemed to suddenly hang in the very air around them, threatening to overtake them, and Remus pulled Dora closer.

"I was wondering," Dora said thoughtfully, sounding determined to keep her tone light. "What would you say to asking Harry?"

"Harry?" Remus asked, taken aback.

"I know, it sounds completely mad, picking the most wanted man in the world," Dora said quickly, opening her eyes and looking at Remus. "But—I—well, I only wondered because…because of what he said to you."

Remus's heart clenched, and he said nothing.

"If it's not a good idea," Dora said quickly, sitting up slightly, "we can choose someone else—Bill, maybe, or Charlie—Kingsley?"

"No," Remus interrupted, looking at her. "I think Harry is exactly the right choice. I think any child who had the chance to learn half of what Harry has would be immeasurably lucky.

Dora smiled. "I think so, too," she told him, and she leaned back against his shoulder, closing her eyes once again.

They could have sat there for a hundred years, maybe more. All Remus could do was watch Dora, who seemed to be sleeping—or, at least, resting for once—as she breathed, slowly and deeply against his chest. The sun continued to sparkle on them, too beautiful for the pain of the world as it was right now.

"I like this," Dora whispered after a few moments.

Remus smiled gently. "Me too."

"The baby only calms down when you're with me," she said, smoothing her robes over her belly. "I can relax, too."

Overcome with a sudden wave of love for Dora, Remus wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. But suddenly, there was a thud, and the sound of breaking china from inside the house, and Dora sat bolt upright.

"Mum," she gasped, looking back at Remus. She began struggling to her feet. Remus leapt up and tried to help her, but she swatted him away. "No, go inside—help Mum—I'm fine!"

Torn, Remus froze on the spot, looking anxiously between his wife and the house.

"_Now_, Remus, _please_!" Dora insisted, waving him away, and he took off for the back door, drawing his wand and wrenching it open.

"Andromeda?" he called, moving cautiously into the kitchen, waiting for a spell to come flying at him. "Andromeda?"

"Remus?" asked a dazed voice, and Remus felt his muscles relax. He stowed his wand and stooped to the floor. Andromeda was sitting with her back against the cabinets. The tea service was lying facedown beside her, and she was holding a hand to her head, blinking rapidly.

"I fainted," Andromeda said, as if she couldn't believe it. "I haven't—goodness," she said, shaking her head. "Will you help me up?" Remus nodded kindly and offered her a hand. He supported her into a chair at the kitchen table as Dora came into the room, panting, her wand drawn.

"It's all right, everything's fine," Remus said quickly, hurrying over to put his arms around Dora, but she backed away from him pressing against the doorframe, her wand clattering to the floor and her eyes closed as if she were in pain.

"Darling!" Andromeda cried.

"Dora," said Remus, catching her by the elbows before she hit the floor. "What is it, tell me what's wrong! Is it the baby?" Dora was sliding down the wall to the floor, unable to hold herself up, clutching her belly and biting her lip as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Dora, _please_," Remus begged, kneeling before her. "Say something."

She was silent for a few moments, her head tipped back against the wall, her eyes shut as she tried to steady her breathing. Then, slowly, she opened her eyes and gave a little laugh.

"I think—I think it's time," said Dora, sounding utterly shocked.

* * *

><p>So this is a three-part TonksLupin story about the day Teddy was born (obviously). I was re-reading Deathly Hallows, looking for a little inspiration for MommaXBear's "Google Me Challenge" (which this is written for) and I realized that Ted Tonks died (at the very least, NEAR) the same week Teddy Lupin was born. HOW STRESSFUL DOES THAT SOUND? My lord, I'm almost crying just thinking about it right now, it's terrible! So yes. If you would like the link to the image I got as my "prompt" PM me or just mention it in a review. It's a lovely drawing called "Tonks and Lupin" by elu-lux (on deviantart). Hope you like. Chapter a day, to tide us all through the weekend!

Lucy


	2. Chapter 2

Remus would never know how Dora made it through the next five hours, when he knew for a fact that it had been days since she'd last slept properly. Moreover, he was astonished at Andromeda, who, despite being half-starved and having fainted, managed to deliver the baby and care for her daughter with more grace and rapidity than Remus could have imagined.

"Look who's here," Andromeda said softly, bending to place the bundle in Dora's arms. Remus, who was sitting behind Dora on the bed, supporting her, felt his mouth fall open. Dora gave a little gasp, and Remus saw tears of happiness slip down her face.

"This is your son," Andromeda told them, her chin trembling as she straightened. The baby gave a soft wail and flexed his tiny fingers up at Dora, who reached out her forefinger to stroke his tiny tuft of dark hair. Remus, still in shock, put one hand on the baby's blankets, as if trying to see whether or not he was real, was there.

"Teddy," Dora breathed, and Remus instantly looked up to see Andromeda—stoic, strong, undemonstrative Andromeda—close her eyes and burst into tears. She turned away, covering her face with her hands.

"Andromeda," he said, and Dora looked up at her mother, tears in her eyes.

"Mummy," she whispered. "It's all right—please, don't cry—"

"No, no, I just need—just a moment," Andromeda said, whirling around. She gave Dora and Remus a pained, apologetic smile, and hurried from the room, closing the door behind her.

"We didn't do wrong," Remus said immediately, holding Dora's shoulders. "I promise you—"

"No, I know," Dora answered shakily, nodding as she gazed down at Teddy. "I shouldn't have dropped a bombshell like that, though. She wasn't ready for it."

Dora sighed, and, looking into Teddy's small face, Remus had a sudden, overwhelming realization of how lucky he was to be there at all.

He had accepted a long while ago that Dora's relationship with her mother was something he would never fully understand; it was volatile, the arguments even approaching vicious, but it was the fiercest, most loving bond he had ever encountered in his entire life. At times, it was almost as if they were one and the same. They simply knew each other, exactly the way they each worked, and this made them dangerous when pitted against one another. When they stood together, however…they were formidable, to say the least.

"Dora," Remus said softly. "I—"

"I know, Remus," she said, before he could finish his thought. "But we already talked about this. So please," she said, looking up at him with her eyes full of tears, and a pained smile on her lips, "just hold your son."

Remus closed his eyes briefly, smiling. "All right," he said, and he moved forward, allowing Dora to lie back on her pillows as she placed Teddy in his arms. He stood, carrying the baby a few feet away from the bed, bouncing him gently. Teddy gave a few soft grunts, scrunching his face as he looked up at Remus.

"He looks like you," Remus said, turning back to Dora, who was slumped against the headboard, wiping her tears away and watching him with a very tired smile.

"More like you," she said, smoothing her blankets over her middle.

"I—Dora! Look!" Remus cried, hurrying back over with the baby.

"What?" Dora asked immediately, looking worried.

"His hair," Remus laughed, showing her the baby. "It's changed."

Sure enough, Teddy's hair had turned from dark brown, almost black, to a soft blond. Dora put a hand over her mouth. "He's—he's a Metamorphmagus," she said happily. "I can't believe it—"

The door opened quietly, and Andromeda came back in, her face much more composed, but very pale. Remus straightened and smiled at her, still holding Teddy.

"I believe it," Andromeda said softly, coming to sit down beside Dora. "Your hair started changing…oh, within an hour or two after I had you," she said, stroking Dora's cheek and giving her a tremulous smile. "Although, you went straight for violet, as I recall. No natural tones for you. Scared your father and me half to death." Dora laughed and put her arms around Andromeda's neck, hugging her close. "I think the name is perfect," Andromeda said, rubbing Dora's back.

"Thanks," Dora said. She pulled away and smiled at Andromeda, then glanced up at Remus, who smiled as well. "I think Remus is an excellent middle name, don't you?" she asked Andromeda.

"I do," Andromeda answered, looking to Remus. He stared back, slightly openmouthed. Teddy's tiny fist waved out of his blanket, and he grunted again.

"I—all right," Remus rasped. "I'd love that…" He turned away and quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and when he turned back, Dora was beaming at him from her mother's arms. She looked exhausted. Andromeda patted Dora's hair briefly, then got up as Remus came back to the bed and gave Teddy to her. She smiled at the baby, stroking his cheek.

"I think you'd better go and tell Harry the good news," Dora said, putting one hand on Remus's neck as he sat down on the bed, leaning over her. "While we know where he is. He probably hasn't had anything to celebrate, wherever he's been."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked her.

Dora nodded. "I'm about to pass out," she admitted. "Just—be back quickly, all right? And be careful. Use a Disillusionment Charm?"

"Of course," Remus told her earnestly. He leaned down and kissed Dora's lips softly. "I love you, Nymphadora, and I'm so proud of you, and our son."

Dora shook her head, smiling. "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus." And she pulled him in for another kiss. It was passionate, warm, and when she released him, Remus noticed that Dora's hair had turned pink once again. He glanced over his shoulder; Andromeda had turned tastefully away, and was too absorbed with Teddy to notice anything that was happening behind her.

"I love you," said Dora, allowing Remus to stand. "Be careful. You can wake me when you get back, I won't sleep well if I don't know you're here."

Remus squeezed her hand. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

><p>:) Aww shucks...I love little Teddy.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

When Remus made it back to the house from Shell Cottage, Andromeda was in her armchair in the sitting room, fast asleep for the first time in days, with a book in her lap. Remus picked up a blanket, covered her with it, then pointed his wand at the light, which clicked off. Despite their occasionally rough relationship, Remus was glad that Andromeda seemed to be coming back to herself; Teddy was already doing more good than he knew.

He trudged up the stairs to the guest room, where Dora had had the baby, and smiled as he opened the door. Dora was curled in bed, the fingers of one hand hooked in Teddy's bassinet, which stood right next to the bed.

Very, very quietly, so as not to disturb her, Remus removed his cloak and tiptoed over to the bassinet. Teddy, wrapped in blankets, was sleeping, working his small mouth in a yawn. His hair seemed to have taken on a greenish tinge, though Remus couldn't be sure in the half-light.

He was a father. A _father_. It was inconceivable. He never imagined that he would ever be able to have a child, to raise, care for, love, and yet—she had given him all of that, and more. Dora and Teddy were the most important things in his world. How could he ever have been such an idiot? How could he have dreamed that leaving them was the best course of action?

And Remus felt a sudden rush of affection for Harry. Harry, who had lost so much, who had every right to act as selfishly as he chose, had forced Remus to see that the desires of one person are as nothing to the desires of those who depend on that person. Tears filled Remus's eyes as he watched his son.

"Teddy, I love you so much," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you enough how much I love you. Thank you for being everything I ever wanted." Remus reached one hand down and stroked Teddy's head, and the baby opened and closed his mouth several times, his small tongue lolling. Remus chuckled.

Dora stirred, one eye opening. "You're back," she murmured.

"I am," Remus managed to say, with a great sniff as he knelt beside her. "Go to sleep, Dora, I'm here."

"Did Harry make the cake?" she asked sleepily, her eyes shut.

"I—what?" Remus whispered, utterly nonplussed.

"The cake," Dora said in a voice that plainly told Remus he was being very foolish. She flung her hand up in the air, gesturing towards the ceiling.

"Er," Remus said, looking up above his head. "Yes, sweetheart, and he was very happy."

"Happy birthday, Teddy," Dora mumbled, burying her face in the pillow. Remus smiled and smoothed her hair back. It was still bright pink, he noted.

"Happy birthday," Remus answered, and Dora said no more, as her soft snoring began to fill the room. How odd that after seven years of listening to Sirius and James snore in Gryffindor Tower, a sound that drove him up the wall, Remus could never get enough of hearing Dora as she slept.

He got up quietly and tiptoed to the armchair beneath the window, where he settled down comfortably, tucking his cloak over himself. He watched Dora for several minutes, illuminated by a shaft of moonlight.

Remus smiled.

* * *

><p>The end. *sniffle* I felt like doing a double post for you all, since I haven't in a while...*sniffle* I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH! Everybody gets to cuddle Teddy on their way out. It's therapeutic. *holds baby out* LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks for coming on this little journey with me!<p>

Lucy


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